I am what medical professionals refer to as a “needle weenie.” That is I have a full panic reaction whenever someone comes at me with a needle. It’s not something I’ve ever been proud of. Honestly it’s rather embarrassing. With impending covid vaccines coming I thought I would address this blemish on my otherwise good behavior at medical offices. 

There are very few people who have bared witness to the trials and tribulations of me trying to get a shot. It is almost exclusively limited to my parents and whatever poor soul has been given this strenuous task. At this point if I have to go to the doctor I can only be accompanied by my father. He is probably the only person who can physically restrain me long enough for the doctor/nurse to stab me. Sometimes it even takes an extra nurse. The screaming that comes along with it can almost never be stopped. My apologies to anyone who has ever been on the same floor as the doctor’s office when I needed a shot.

When I was 18, I had to get a blood test (I understand that I should get them more frequently but that just simply is not going to happen). After a two hour panic attack in the waiting room of the doc in a box, and then having to be physically carried into a room, I am the worst when it comes to this simple medical procedure. Eventually my dad sat on me, forced my head in the other direction, and helped the nurse get the blood. I have never shown my face there again. They probably wouldn’t remember me or that rough night in 2015, but I do and I am thoroughly embarrassed. 

I have once  AND ONLY ONCE convinced an ER nurse not to start a fluid IV because I started to panic and told her I would rip the needle out of my arm. After a short conference with my dad, the nurse gave me a cup of water and told me to drink 10. Done. Anything to avoid a needle. Any other time no amount of kicking, screaming, of full panic attacks has stopped the person from stabbing me in the arm.

The worst part of all of this? I know it’s irrational. No amount of people telling me to “get over it” will work. I’ve tried to go in willingly. I’ve had many nice nurses try and talk me through it. It has never worked. It will probably never work. It’s truly embarrassing. But here is the thing, I am very pro- vaccine. I love love love not living in a world with polio and smallpox. That covid vaccine is nothing short of a miracle (honestly the technology that went into creating this mRNA vaccine is amazing).

 So that brings me to my covid vaccine. I’m going to get it. I might be a needle weenie but I’m not an idiot. In an ideal world, I’ll get the J&J so the trauma only has to happen once but I will take whatever is given to me. Mitigation efforts will be taken so it can happen. Honestly, I’m excited to go back outside and see my friends and family. So this goes out to all the other needle weenies out there, let’s do this.

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=648963369099984

(Bob’s Burgers clip because I wish I could be as calm as Bob Belcher in this moment.)