2020 was probably my worst year on record. You might be thinking “well yeah a global pandemic will get anyone down!” Yes, I agree but my worst year started on January 3. That was the day my grandma passed away. It was probably the hardest blow to my life that I had experienced at this point. For her birthday I just want to tell the world about the amazing woman who helped shape me into who I am. This is mostly going to be about our time in the hospital. To go back to before that would make this easily a 47 paged essay and I don’t have the brain cells for that.

During December of 2019 my grandma suffered a fall in her assisted living facility. We spent a month in the hospital with her. Some days were really good and other days were really really bad. My aunt and I would spend most of the day almost everyday with her in the hospital. After work my mom would come and join us. This became our daily routine.

We would watch the cooking channel and the news. Gossip about the nurses on shift. Occasionally chat with whoever grandma’s roommate was. Grandma would yell at me for not eating lunch (how could I? My anxiety was through the roof and eating just didn’t happen). I would try and dance around her bed to lighten the mood and she would flat out tell me I was a horrible dancer. Ouch. Not exactly wrong but could she do better? My 80 something year old grandma wouldn’t dance battle me so there isn’t a conclusive answer.

She didn’t like when we would leave late at night. It was dangerous for women to be outside at night in her mind. Also the later we stayed, the later we would eat dinner. That was not okay in her book. One night during a late night room transfer she kept asking the nurses for cheese sandwiches for me, my mom, and my aunt. She would tell me to bring sandwiches to the hospital to eat. Hooked to her IV pole, laying in her bed, it was never about her. She always wanted her girls to be happy and full (of both food and love).

We learned a fair amount about politics and our place in time. Let me explain. When medical professionals are trying to determine your consciousness and level of orientation they ask some questions. Some being: your name and birthday. The date and who is in the room with you. Who the president is. That last one became a little tricky. As we sat in the hospital in december of 2019 something big was happening. You might remember a certain impeachment. It was on every channel. It’s all we could watch for days. We watched all the hearings in the house. So when a doctor came in to ask who the president was, well, grandma didn’t know. Who was the president she asked the doctors. She had no idea. He had just been impeached! Okay thank god. She hadn’t lost her orientation to the world. She just didn’t have a complete understanding of civics. After explaining to her that he was just impeached and not removed, she told me that was stupid. Yeah grandma I know but we can’t do much about it from Morristown Hospital. We had other problems to worry about. Could she tell us where she was? Not quite. She told the doctors to stop asking her the year. She had no idea and she was getting tired of guessing. But medical staff be damned because she knew every bit of the house impeachment proceedings.

She was a woman who would kick life’s ass and leave the rest of us just to watch. Last year we celebrated her birthday by bringing chocolate to the staff at the assisted living facility and donating her bed to a family in need. She loved chocolate and taking care of others in any way she could. 

So this year for her birthday I’m celebrating. I’ll have some of her beloved chocolate and ice cream, I’ll snuggle her cat, and I’ll remember all of our happy memories. Don’t get me wrong. I still have days where I just need to sit and cry about how much I miss my grandma. But she would have much rather sitting and having a sweet snack than crying over her memory. So this is for you grandma. Thank you for helping to shape me into who I am. I love you and miss you.

Some cool facts about Grandma Eileen:

1. She was a twin. She had a twin brother named Larry. Larry and Eileen were technically born on different days. Larry was born a little before midnight on February 10th and Eileen was born a little after midnight on the 11th.
2. When she was younger she and Larry had pet ducks that they kept in their bathtub. They would walk them on the streets of Brooklyn with pieces of string.
3. She was a special education teacher. She saw the best in everyone. Every student is worthy of an education and she would make sure of it.
4. She was an animal lover. My mom told me that when she was growing up they had lots of cats and dogs. Grandma even adopted the cat that lived outside in their garbage can.
5. Eileen Schaffer was a mahjong champion.